Reader matter:

we found this guy 2-3 weeks before and now we immediately struck it off. He’s 20 I am also 18.

We decided we would stay as buddies with advantages because i’ll be leaving in two months for a while. For some reason, he helps to keep revisiting the idea of just becoming pals, claiming he likes me personally however it tends to make him place a wall up.

We informed him it will be fine when we only ended speaking so he’dn’t get any further thoughts because the guy does not want currently, but he helps to keep stating the guy doesn’t want to get rid of speaking.

Why does the guy send me mixed signals? How do I determine what the guy would like?

-Brianna (Wisconsin)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Solution:


Once you describe your relationship as buddies with advantages, i suppose you suggest sexual benefits. And because you’re one leaving city, I have an awareness you are the one who organized the partnership this way.

He, conversely, did not have the majority of a variety. You’ll be making, even when he wanted much more. Actually, We think your own violation outside of the commitment had been the thing that lured you both.

It’s a method to test a relationship knowing that just one people might have an exit home at two-month level.

With modern-day relationships being therefore delicate yet therefore pressured to possess intercourse, individuals frequently aim to dip their particular toe in as a way to stay away from an agonizing separation.

Nevertheless main point here is actually sex produces emotions. He’s giving you mixed indicators because he wants you! He could be in fact letting you know the « friends with benefits » charade is the wall structure he’s adding.

My advice: Don’t wreak havoc on this person’s center if you don’t want a genuine commitment. If you, bring it up and end up being clear about your needs.

The elephant during the living room looks too big for either people to ignore.

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